Tom Cruise Extorter Commits Suicide

In a story that’s straight out of left field, “The Sultan of Sleaze” David Schmidt has apparently taken his own life. Authorities found his body in his home this past Friday.

The details of his death are still undisclosed, although according to George Rush of the Daily News gossip column, it wasn’t a huge surprise. Two weeks prior to his suicide, Schmidt had reportedly tried, and failed, to kill himself.

According to Rush, David called him often, as a cry for help. "I did something really stupid. I put a belt around my neck in the shower. Fortunately, it didn't work," Schmidt reportedly told Rush.

"He was phoning me every other day," said Rush. "I kept saying, 'You got to get yourself some medication.' He said he was on some, but it just didn't work for very long."

Schmidt was under house arrest for attempting to extort $1.3 million from Tom Cruise. He reportedly had some wedding photos that Cruise didn’t want getting released. But after being arrested, and planning to plead guilty to the charges, it became too much to bear.

"I tried to tell him how much he had to look forward to, that there was some publishing interest in a book and he could use his time in prison to write his memoirs," Rush said. “He had to wear an ankle monitor. He couldn't leave the house, and there were liens on everything he owned. He was days away from getting stripped of everything."

Police were worried something was up when Schmidt’s ankle monitor hadn’t moved in hours. They finally checked on him at 3pm Friday afternoon, and found him dead.

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